Day of the Dead: Why We Love This Beautiful Celebration of Life

Anyone else cry their eyes out whilst watching Coco? Ok, just everyone. For me, everything about it is absolutely beautiful and definitely not only benefiting children. For those of you who haven't watched it… first of all, watch it, today! But to add some context to without DisneyPlus , it's all about celebrating the life of those you loved. Keeping their memory alive, honouring who they were and who you are. Our kind of celebration.

With the Day of the Dead just around the corner, I wanted to share a little about where it comes from, how it's celebrated, and why I think it's one of the most beautiful ways in the world to remember the people we've lost.

What is the Day of the Dead?

Día de los Muertos, or the Day of the Dead, is a Mexican celebration held every year on the 1st and 2nd of November. Traditionally, the 1st is set aside to remember children who have died, and the 2nd to remember adults.

Despite the name (and the skeletons!), it isn't a sad or spooky occasion, and it's definitely not "Mexican Halloween". It's a joyful reunion. The belief is that, for these couple of days, the spirits of loved ones return home to be with their families once more. And rather than meeting them with grief, families welcome them back with food, music, flowers, stories and laughter.

Its roots go back thousands of years to the Indigenous peoples of Mexico, who saw death as a natural part of life's cycle rather than an ending. Over time, those traditions blended with the Catholic feasts of All Saints' and All Souls' Day, creating the celebration we know today. It's so treasured that UNESCO recognises it as part of the world's Intangible Cultural Heritage.

How is it celebrated?

The ofrenda: an altar of love

At the heart of the Day of the Dead is the ofrenda, a home altar created for the people being remembered. It's layered with photographs, candles and personal treasures, and, my favourite part, the things that person loved most in life. Their favourite meal. Their go-to drink. A packet of their cigarettes, their sweets, their reading glasses, a football shirt. It isn't a formal shrine; it's a portrait of a person, built from all the little things that made them them.

Marigolds lighting the way

Bright orange marigolds, known as cempasúchil, are everywhere. Their vivid colour and strong scent are said to guide the spirits home, and families often scatter petals in a trail from the street to the ofrenda. Imagine walking up a path of petals laid out just for you. I cannot imagine anything more welcoming when returning home than seeing this (and perhaps a couple of kittens).

Food, sweets and sugar skulls

Food is a huge part of the celebration. There's pan de muerto, a soft, sweet bread decorated with "bones" made of dough, and the famous calaveras, colourful sugar skulls, often with a loved one's name written across the forehead. The skulls aren't meant to be frightening; they're bright, cheerful and a little bit cheeky, a reminder that death is part of all of us. Something we often try our best to forget.

Visiting, cleaning and decorating graves

Many families spend the day at the cemetery, cleaning and decorating graves with flowers and candles. Some stay through the night, sharing a picnic, playing music and telling stories. Cemeteries become glowing, lively places filled with families, rather than quiet, lonely ones.

La Catrina

You'll probably recognise La Catrina, the elegant skeleton lady in her big feathered hat. She began life as a satirical drawing over a century ago, poking fun at people who forgot that, rich or poor, we all end up the same. Today she's an icon of the celebration, and you'll see people with beautifully painted Catrina faces at festivals and parades.

Why it's such a beautiful way to celebrate life

This is where the Day of the Dead and The Last Hoorah really are kindred spirits.

It celebrates the person, not just the loss. The ofrenda doesn't say "this person died". It says "this person loved tacos, terrible jokes and a strong coffee, and we adored them". That's exactly what I believe a celebration of life should do: capture someone's personality, quirks and passions, so everyone in the room thinks, "That's so them."

Grief and joy can sit side by side. There are tears, of course. But there's also music, colour, food and laughter, and nobody feels guilty about it. Smiling while you remember someone isn't disrespectful. Often, it's the greatest tribute you can give.

Remembering is something we keep doing. The Day of the Dead comes round every single year. Memories aren't packed away after the funeral; they're brought out, shared and passed on to the next generation. Children grow up knowing the stories of grandparents and great-grandparents they never met. As Coco puts it so beautifully, the people we love stay with us for as long as we keep remembering them.

It talks about death openly. In the UK we can be a bit buttoned-up about death. We whisper about it, avoid it, and often don't talk about what we'd want until it's too late. The Day of the Dead treats death as a natural part of life, something to be acknowledged, even welcomed with a smile. I think we could all learn something from that.

Bringing a little of that spirit to your own celebration

The Day of the Dead belongs to Mexican culture, and it deserves to be respected as such, so this isn't about borrowing it wholesale. But its heart, love, colour and remembrance, is universal. Here are a few ways its spirit can inspire a celebration of life here in Surrey, or simply your own way of remembering someone:

• Create a memory table. Inspired by the ofrenda, fill a table with photos, candles and the things your loved one adored: their hat, their favourite book, the mug they always used, a bottle of their favourite tipple.

• Serve their favourite food. Whether it was a full Sunday roast, fish and chips or a Colin the Caterpillar cake, sharing the food they loved brings them right into the room.

• Let the colour in. Who says it has to be black? Bright flowers, their favourite colour, or a dress code that reflects their personality can transform the feel of the day.

• Tell the stories. Invite guests to share a memory, write it on a card, or add it to a memory book. The funny ones are often the most treasured.

• Play their music. The songs they sang along to in the car, the record they always put on at parties. Music has a way of bringing people back like nothing else.

• Make it a yearly tradition. Light a candle, cook their favourite meal or raise a glass on their birthday or anniversary. Remembering doesn't have to stop after one day.

  
  

Our kind of celebration

At The Last Hoorah, I help families across Surrey create celebrations of life that are as unique as the people they honour. Personal, meaningful, full of love, and yes, often full of smiles and laughter too. The Day of the Dead is a beautiful reminder that saying goodbye doesn't have to mean letting go. It can mean celebrating, remembering and keeping someone close for years to come.

So this November, light a candle, put out a photo, cook their favourite dinner, and tell a story about someone you love. And if you'd like help planning a celebration of life that truly reflects your loved one, I'd love to hear from you. Get in touch for a gentle, free no-pressure chat.

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How others celebrate death around the world